Home Sweet...Grandma's Apartment?

I've been home from college for about two weeks now...and honestly, they've been pretty spiritually dry. I'm not sure why though...I'm living in my grandma's tiny apartment, with my life's belongings crammed into a tiny room that lacks A/C. I drive my dad's car to work each day, after picking it up from the middle school, and I'm trying to maintain energy throughout the day to get everything done. None of this is comfortable nor convenient for me, but I keep reminding myself that it could be worse.

I miss the Chapel, my small group, and my Tuesday dinners..I miss the constant chaos and noise of my residence hall. I miss all the opportunities to share my faith.

But there are still things to be celebrated...I found out yesterday that I will be an RA for the 2012-2013 school year and I could not be more excited. Not only is it a great financial blessing, but I'm also a role model and leader to many residents...what an awesome opportunity for ministry!!

Nonetheless, I have a lot of work to do...spiritually. I'm currently balancing a pretty much full-time job, summer classes, and clinicals at the hospital. From 6am to about 6pm, I'm nothing but busy. I do my best to use my nights to be productive and get some cleaning done, shop for groceries, and get in some exercise to clear my mind. But where does JESUS fit into that schedule? ...He doesn't. And that is where my problem lies. Because my relationship with Jesus is lacking, my joy has been stolen, friendships are broken, my family is falling apart, I start to doubt myself, and my world seems to be caving in around me.

A QUOTE: "If you're too busy for God, than you're busier than God intends for you to be."

I was able to talk with Virginia last night and let her know where I was at...thankfully, we have decided to hold each other accountable. It is so absolutely crucial that we are in the world daily and furthering our relationship with Christ. On the nights after work, we are going to get together for dinner and just read our Bibles together. After all, God does call us to fellowship with other believers and encourage each other. Youth group and church are great places to learn and grow, but outside of these things we need to be surrounding ourselves with believers AND having godly conversations....sometimes, we get together to vent, share our life problems...let's put it this way...THERAPY! These things aren't bad, but when they are the only things happening, we tend to go to our friends rather than God for help.

ANOTHER QUOTE: "Have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?"

Something I think that would be cool this summer, is "Fellowship Night." A night that once a week, friends/believers can meet at someone's house for dinner or maybe just snacks and coffee and fellowship. A time where we could present prayer requests, popcorn pray, play games, and talk about current, relative issues that we are all dealing with.

If I'm again honest, I hate when I have great ideas....because these ideas usually never happen. I'm too busy to plan and organize so I just write them off and keep dreaming. Hopefully in the days to come, I can pursue Christ, get back on track spiritually, and see where God leads me.

As for now, I'm in the middle of writing a paper for clinicals, and have yet to read two chapters and take notes on each of them.

Thanks for listening and praying!

Overview

Clearly it's been a while since I've blogged...5 months to be exact. A lot has happened and in a matter of 19 days I'm done with my freshman year of college.

Last night I was up late with one of my friends and we were just talking about our faith and what God has done through us during our freshman year. We both came to the agreement that this was the first time that we were intentional with our faith and always on the lookout for other people to bring to church. We have brought at least 5 people to small group, seen 2 girls have a desire to know more about Christ, 3 girls feel convicted and begin to question what they believe, and 1 girl accept Christ. How awesome is that!?! A prayer that was on my heart for quite some time was for my neighbor, an atheist, to simply come to small group dinner. Guess what? This past Tuesday, she did!! It's definitely a step in the right direction and seeds are being planted in my small little res hall family. As the year comes to an end, there are so many others that we didn't reach out to, but I know in my heart of hearts that we set a worthy, godly example for them.

Next year, whether an RA or a commuter, I have big goals! I would love to see God use me and two other girls to start a small group in the dorms. My head is spinning with ideas! With only 19 days left, I'm sad to leave. I love my hometown and church, but I don't know how to spark the same passion in them, that I have now. I don't want to leave my small group community here at college that shares my desire to reach others for Christ and that passionate faith that keeps me motivated.

As I prepare to go home, I pray that God would guide my every step...maybe even grant me the opportunity to share my testimony back home and inspire others. After this year, I truly believe that living on campus was exactly where God wanted me, I have no doubt about that.

God I pray that you would lead my every step. God help me to transition into my summer back home, commuting to and from school, for work and summer classes. God help me to keep the passion going, help me to inspire those around me. God you have plans for me that exceed what I can even imagine. I pray that you would continue to use me and work through me. You are good and you desire to see me prosper and grow. Help me to press on when trials come my way and try to hinder me. God you have blessed me beyond belief over the past 9 months. Thank you for loving me and guiding me every step of the way. Amen.

On Track Devotional: UNITY

December 2, 2011

"UNITY"
In today's On Track Devotional (OTD) I read Acts chapter 2. It starts off talking about all the people that had come together for Pentecost. All of these people spoke different languages, yet amazingly they all understand their native languages. Some thought the people were drunk, but it was clearly the power of the Holy Spirit. Peter points out that it is the power of the Holy Spirit. He quotes the prophet Joel: "In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people..."
Later on in the chapter it talks about repenting and being baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And as a result, you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The crazy awesome part of the chapter is that those who accepted Peter's message were baptized. There were around three thousand in total. Praise the Lord!

The chapter closes off discussing the unity of believers. "All the believers were together and had everything in common." I thought that was really cool. As believers, we have everything in common. We are trying to live lives that are pleasing to God and in a way that brings Him honor. That's all that matters. These believers would meet together every day in the temple courts and eat together, praising God and enjoying the favor of all people. The chapter ended with "And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

I really enjoy the last part of the chapter when it talks about unity and how the Lord saves more and more people as a result. I think it's really important that we as believers are united together. Often times, we get caught up in our differences or personal lives that we forget about what it's all about. The fact is, it's not about us. It's about God, our Lord and Savior. My prayer today is that the church body would focus our attention on Christ and pleasing Him, rather than the things that we should or shouldn't do, can or cannot do.

That is all. Short. Sweet. To the point. Enjoy your Friday everyone!

Listen Up

Just when I thought it was over, I hear about more people talking behind my back. If you're upset that I moved out and left you behind, call me and we'll discuss the matter. Sending me messages and letters so you don't have to face me, or acting like everything's okay doesn't solve anything. Also, talking to your other friends doesn't help either....one way or another it's gotten back to me.

Christians, you have hurt me time and again. Not all of you, but some. Look, I'm sorry that I moved out....my home life sucked. If you know me, you'd know that. I moved out to get away from the stress and I'm happy here. I'm away from the drama, the emotional abuse, and the pain of feeling useless. At college, I've had the chance to pursue God for myself and the ministry opportunities have been awesome. However, I do not have a car. Sorry that I can't come visit you every weekend. Sorry that I have no desire to return to a place where I was unhappy and hurting. If you want me to move back home and suffer through that again, sorry but it's not happening. I see that as somewhat selfish.

The majority of the time, I'm happy. I'm doing just fine. I'm managing my time, spending time in the word, and sharing my faith at least once a day. How many of you can say that you are doing that? I'm not trying to say that I'm better or that i'm 'all that' but I'm happy and doing well.

The reason I blog is to vent my feelings and that's what i'm doing right now. Sadly, the venting is pretty angry. When I get texts and hear that my friends have been talking about me, it hurts. But it's gotten to a point where I'm getting pretty pissed off. If this is how Christians treat other Christians when they go off to college, then I want nothing to do with Christians. I don't want to belong to a group of people that are known for being judgmental and hypocritical.

I don't have the money to afford a car to come visit, nor do I have the desire to be around people that make me feel awkward and left out. I'm glad that some people are able to save their money and commute because their families are just that awesome, but that would have never worked for me.

I'm sorry for those of you who feel left out. I am truly sorry. What would you like me to do? Sure, I'll come visit. Just call me and offer to pick me up. But if i'm going to come visit, don't make me feel awkward. Don't look at me as if i'm different. Maybe I am different. I'm growing up! From what you're reading, I probably look angry and bitter. At the moment, yes...that would be correct. But live with me here for a day and see how well I'm doing. I. am. happy. And i'm not going to let you ruin that.

If just reading this, and you feel concerned CALL ME. Don't go discussing it with other people. But just know that I'm doing well and I'm happy. I can't emphasize how well i'm doing. I'm gaining my independence and a perspective on life that I will never be able to fully explain. God has (clearly) been testing me and my faith has become even stronger as a result. I'm outside of my comfort zone. I left all I knew back home behind, and came out here to college. I'm building new relationships, discovering Jesus in an incredible way, and gaining a sense of who I am. Aside from all the betrayal, I am truly blessed.

As for now, prayers are greatly appreciated :)

Same Old, Same Old

I realize that it's been a while since I have last blogged, and I'm sure you faithful readers are wondering if I'm still alive. If I'm honest, I've been doing the same old stuff and going along with my normal weekly/daily routines.

To recap a little bit....

Monday evening I was able to go to Hartville with the wonderful family that I have previously gone on vacation with. A night away from college was such a blessing. My second mom and her little princess picked me up and brought me home, meanwhile we were able to have some awesome time of fellowship during the car ride. At their house, I was greeted by my favorite little man! Boy did I miss his smiling face, sweet voice, and charming personality! I was also greeted by 3 very cuddly dogs, my second dad, a little princess, and two great friends!  I could not have asked for a better homecoming! We proceeded to have probably one of the best meals I've ever had in my entire life! Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad, and bread. Just thinking about it makes my mouth water! It was SO. GOOD. And of course, it was followed by a very delicious cherry dessert! Can you say spoiled? God has truly blessed me with such a great church family. After dinner, more fellowship and some games! I could just go on and on about how great it was!! Oh and I must mention the heated seat on the car ride home....SO GREAT.

Tuesday was another typical day, definitely not as exciting as Monday's adventure. I worked at 8am, went to my normal classes, and gave a speech that night.

Wednesday, same old same old. Finished the evening with my wonderful small group.

Thursday, pretty similar to Tuesday and ended with a great night at Campus Focus.

Friday night was crazy Halloween night at UA. Virginia was finally able to come visit and I was sooo excited about that! We talked and caught up and then we went on a late night Walmart run with some friends. Afterwards we watched some movies which put a lot of us to sleep. Sarah and I took Virginia and our friend RJ back to their cars and then came back to our room. The freezing cold woke us up so we went down to our lobby to work on homework (never happened) and watch the drunks come home. We only had a couple drunk people come home, and I helped them to their rooms and into bed. Then I took Sarah to another residence hall and brought food to my friend who was a CA until 4am.

And now it's Saturday....it's been a pretty laid back day. We had a fire drill at an inconvenient time but that was our only excitement. My roommate Jamie and her fiance Matt have their friend Kevin here, so tonight we're watching scary movies and eating pizza. It should be a fun time! As for now, I'm off to go get pizza!