Finances

The number of days until graduation continues to shrink as do the number of days until I move out and into my college dorm. With the excitement of the two, comes the stress; planning a graduation party and all of the details that go along with that, and filling out financial forms and papers for college. The simple fact that I'm a teenager carries a lot of stress on its own, but the stress of figuring out finances can get a little overwhelming.

I've always felt like a financial burden; I'm the only daughter living at home and we all know that girls tend to require more clothes than boys...who are usually satisfied with five tshirts that they can rotate through on a weekly basis. Girls also require things like makeup, brushes, tampons, chocolate, hair products, you get the point. I think it's safe to say that we are not cheap children. Let alone we tend to be more emotionally unstable and cause some extra turmoil within the family. What I'm trying to say is that I've noticed all these things and felt somewhat guilty. I feel like I'm always asking for too much, even though I'm quite satisfied shopping at Plato's and I'm always trying to get the most out of my $20. I don't view myself as someone who's high-maintainence.

My mom is always trying to reassure me that I'm fine, but when I'm always hearing about debt, or that she doesn't know if we'll be able to afford another repair, I can't help but to get upset. So with college coming up, money and finances seem to be daily conversation topics. It doesn't help that I'm the first child that my parents are putting through college, so they don't really have an idea of what they're doing. But i'm not that innocent either and I realize that; I slacked off when it came to scholarships and I wasn't too involved in high school. I was much more involved with my church than school clubs, and I was totally fine with that. Then the issue of me not having a job is another touchy subject. My mom seems to think that I simply don't want one. In reality, I would kill for a job! When I worked at an ice cream place in 2008, it felt so nice to save up all my money, and keep $20 in my pocket for a little extra spending money. After a series of events, I am still jobless. (If you have any ideas on a job for me, I'd love to hear them!) I just need to make an effort and start filling out applications. The only downside is not being free for a last minute get together, or a weekend church retreat....some sacrifices have to be made I guess.

Well, that's what I'm dealing with right now, and I'm finally sharing it with the world. I've been talking to a friend today and he and I agreed about this: sometimes the happiest, goofy people have a lot going on and  are realing hurting inside. They may be dealing with family issues, a friend, or even a personal problem. Don't just assume that they really are happy. It may just be their way of dealing with it, and not bringing others down with them. 

I'll leave you with that. Pray for me along with numerous other seniors who are dealing with the stress of college and finances. Pray that we'll give our worries to God and trust that He'll be at work in the situation.

One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven

So I realize that it has been awhile since I last blogged, but there have been numerous times when I wanted to but didn't have the opportunity to sit down and actually do it. Nonetheless, I have some great things to share from the past few days.
*P.S. you should know that it's 6:10am and I'm eating leftover ice cream cake for breakfast and I'm overly enthused about this! It's basically my coffee/sugar buzz/morning burst since my mother used up all the coffee creamer....but that's all beside the point.

So the last few days have been great. God has continued to strengthen me in my faith and stretch me in ways that I didn't know were possible. This past weekend our youth group went to Tappan Lake for a youth retreat. What you may not know is that I initially was not planning on going, which is new for me because I'm always jumping at any opportunity to go on missions trips or retreats. But for some reason I was set on not going, and when my friends tried to convince me, I was turned even farther away. However, God tugged at my heart and I prayed about the retreat and confessed to Him my fears and angers about why I was so set against going. God heard my prayers and instilled in me this desire to go for whatever reason. My senior paper due two days after we would be getting back got its due date pushed back and other small things happened that let me know God was serious about His wanting me to go. (When God lays something on your heart, never push it away or blow it off.)

The retreat could not have gone better. Apparently there were some problems that came up, but being a student I was unaware of them and felt that the weekend was the best it could have been! Not only did God teach me so much through the lessons, He also pulled me closer to Him during worship, and opened my eyes to the hearts and desires of the other students. I can't even begin to explain how proud of our youth group I am. Although I'm still a senior in high school and not an official leader, sometimes I just feel like one. Going on OB, I was taught to be a leader; not only that, I'm just natually a planner and organizer, and enjoy taking on leadership positions. So call it what you will, I felt like I was looking around and seeing my own students worshipping and pursuing Christ...it was one of the most incredible things I've ever seen.

Not only the students, but the leaders as well amazed me beyond what I thought possible! I guess I'll take this moment to brag about our guys. (Our girls were phenominal and they always have been) Back when the guys were all younger, there were times when maybe we all didn't make the smartest decisions---or to be honest, the guys would do some crazy things and people would look down on them or not see it as 'silly' like I did in my crushing years. ;)  Comments were made that "we have such great girls, we just need some great godly men." At the time, I would agree with those judgements but now it's like a total 360. These guys are stepping up and becoming incredibly awesome leaders in our youth group. Their hearts are being changed by God and they have a love and desire not only for God, but for the students. I've grown up with these guys and to see them now makes me so proud! My friend Virginia and I went on a walk the other day and had a really long, great spiritual conversation. Part of that conversation involved bragging back and forth about how much we love our guys. We tried our best to write them encouragment cards, but there's only so much you can put in writing on a tiny little notecard. But be praying for them...you can only grow when you have people supporting you and encouraging you along the way. Pray that they would find older godly men to disciple them, and that our church would be an encouragment to them!

In addition, the overall weekend retreat was awesome! Watching the kids worship together and interact was sooo neat..definitely a proud moment for me.

On another note, I got this really awesome book called "One Thing You Can't Do In Heaven." (you should read it!) It's all about evangelizing and the reasons behind why it is soo incredibly important. I can't even begin to describe all the things I've underlined in that book, but I felt that it was worth mentioning and worth advertising over my blog. haha. But anyways, I can't really remember why I started this post (I began writing really early before school and now it's midnight so I can hardly remember what I've already talked about) Nonetheless, I want to push for you all to be sharing your faith. No matter what the situation, it is sooo easy to change a conversation into a spiritual one. And the awesome part is, people are most often open and willing to hear what you have to say; the world we live in today is full of hurting people.

That's all I've got for now. Goodnight!

There's A First Time For Everything

So I'm back from Florida and the vacation was much needed and greatly appreciated! But a list of "my firsts" began within ten minutes of being in the Karmie's suburban...AKA " the burbie"  Here's the story....

Our first 'stop' on the way to Florida was at a nearby McDonald's. Our original intent was to buy a 50-piece chicken nugget to share amongst the five people in the burbie. But long story short, Colton wanted a kid's meal and a bunch of deals were going on so we ended up with like $20 worth of food! Included in that food was a bigmac. After revealing that I had never eaten a bigmac (the reaction on their faces was priceless!), I was soon forced to take a bite. Which I was more than willing to do...I'm all about new experiecnces! So it was in the backseat of the burbie, that I bit into my very first bigmac.

Next on my list of firsts was riding in a wheelchair in the back of a taxi cab. The faithful burbie had broken down around 2am on our way to Florida so we had it towed somewhere in Tennessee and had a taxi take us to a nearby airport in hopes of purchasing a rental car for the rest of our trip. The ride was quite a new experience in itself, as I'm told we got lost quite a few times. (I had fallen asleep in the strapped-in, shakey wheelchair) But nonetheless, we made it to the airport where the car rental shop didn't open until 5:30am. Being that we had a long wait until then, we crashed on the floor of the airport. No joke, we laid flat on the floor and covered ourselves with blankets and extra jackets. And to be honest, that didn't bother me at all...I saw it as another exciting part of our adventure!

Our journey to Florida continued on in the back of our twelve-seater rental van thing? It was quite roomy and we were all very sad to return it at the end of the week. But anyways, next on my list of firsts was eating lobster. Our first evening in Florida (after exploring our mansion of a home) we went to a seafood restaurant located right on the beach. I have never really been a huge fan of seafood, but once again I'm always open to trying new things. At dinner I took a bite of my first lobster, and my first bite of crab. It was super delicious and I really enjoyed it! Our dinner was followed by some time at the beach, and we ended up getting our clothes soaked, but it was sooo much fun and totally worth it!

My memory of the week isn't the greatest, so I'm probably forgetting some of my firsts but I do remember playing a game called "Bananagrams" for the first time, and now I'm officially addicted! (pretty sure we played it every day!) It's sort of like scrabble, but that's all I can really tell you...just buy it for me for my birthday and I'll teach you how to play ;)

I'm beginning to forget the other things on my list.....but I know there were a lot of them! As of right now, I'm realizing that my back is peeling from being in the sun and I'm honest when I say that this is the first time I've peeled (other than my face); my skin usually turns a nice brown without the occurance of a sunburn but apparently I'm getting old or something? Who knows?

Well, that's all I have for tonight. I'll be sure to make a second post if I remember all my other firsts---I had quite a plethora of them! But now I'm home, safe and sound. Definitely ready for a night in my own bed! Goodnight

Real quick--as I was proofreading this post, I remembered a few more. We made another stop to McDonald's at some point and it was quite an experience. The whole thing was pure chaos; we ended up waiting for like half an hour! (Derek got the whole thing on video and I'm sure it's hilarious!) There was another man there that ordered like two things, waited forever to get his food then went on his way. (We had talked to him about the whole waiting thing and joked around with him while he was there...he was telling other people that came in after him that it wasn't worth the wait. He was pretty funny!) Anyways, no more than five minutes after he left, he came back in and said "Back for round two!" They had messed up his simple order. When we finally got our food, I was told that they didn't have parfaits (all I ordered was a parfait and hashbrown), and asked if I would like a walnut salad....that in itself made us all laugh. So of course I took it, and once again Derek got some great video footage and took a picture of this "great walnut apple salad." I guess that counts as another first....I've never had one of those before...

And the other first I remembered was my first crepe. I get excited about this one because it was SOOOOOO GOOOD! On our way home from Florida, we ended up stopping for breakfast at an ihop about ten minutes from home. All of us kids were snuggled together in the back, sleeping, when Mr. and Mrs. pulled into the parking lot. They watched and waited patiently as we slowly woke up--stretching and rubbing our eyes, and pulling blankets over us (this was how we knew we were back in Ohio....it was freezing!) because we all sensed the great temperature difference between Florida and Ohio. Eventually we were all somewhat awake, or at least able to function, and headed into ihop. It was here that I had my first [nutella] crepe. Mmmmmmm, I'm officially hooked!

First spring break out of Ohio.....SUCCESS! What a great senior year memory! A big thank you again to the wonderful Karmie family <3