BIG Thank You

So yesterday was my grad party and sadly it caused a lot of chaos before the event itself. But I was so thankful for how well it went yesterday! So many people were there and it was great to be surrounded by such a great support group. A lot of the people I've known since I was a baby, or I've known throughout high school. Family, friends, my church family....I couldn't help but to feel blessed.

Talk about blessings, these people give....and give....and give some more. I guess I've done my share of complaining, be it about finances, or family, or stress. But I really have so much to be thankful for. I was talking with a friend the other day, and she reminded me that no matter what, God has plans for me to prosper. He doesn't want to harm me. And whether or not God's will for me was to live on campus and quite possibly face a great deal of debt, He will use me where I am.

I really don't have much left to say. I just had to blog about how blessed I felt today as I opened cards and gifts. So blessed that I was overwhelmed by emotion and couldn't contain it. I've never been a huge giver myself. I've always desired to give, but felt like I really had no money or creative abilities to make some 'stellar scrapbooked card.' So here I am, opening these cards and people are giving! People that I love and care about, and some that I can guarantee I've hurt in the past. So this is my blog's way of thanking you. I am working on two pages worth of thank you cards. If anything, I hope to encourage these people and show how much I truly appreciate and am thankful for all they've done and given me. It may not be a cute little fancy card, but I'm hoping my writing and colorful markers make up for that :)

Thank you Lord for blessing me with so many great people in my life!

Concerts, Cleaning, and First Aide.

Last night our church had a concert and charged $3 admission to raise money for our youth going to Momentum this summer. Talk about a great idea! There were lots of people and the bands were incredible. I was praying for the event before it happened, and then praising God after it happened. I began to realize that simply having a concert in our church was a testimony in itself. Seeds are planted and those who attended hopefully see that our church's doors are always open. Watching the bands from the sound board as we worshiped, I prayed that God would stir up the hearts of the people. It was something new for me, and it was cool to worship from the back of the sanctuary! (AND no one could hear my terrible singing haha)

After the concert, our youth group and youth staff were quick to clean up and put things back where they belong. But quick doesn't always mean safe, as one of our guys stepped on a screw. Our sanctuary's pews are bolted into the floor so when they are removed and taken out, screws are left sticking out of the floor. As the guys (or should I say strong men), were carrying the million pound pews back in, a bare-foot Josh stepped right down on a screw. Needless to say, I had to leave the sanctuary and pull myself together. I was worried not only for Josh's sake, but for my own sake and not passing out. Luckily, I was able to put on my 'mom face' and go in to talk to him...avoiding any sight of his foot and bloody paper towels. Lesson learned, the rest of us put our shoes on and continued working after Josh was taken to the E.R. From facebook updates, he is doing well.

Cleaning continued as Virginia and I swept the sanctuary and picked up trash and the occasional half-full water bottles. Charlie worked on the stage and all the sound equipment, as us girls would have no clue what to do with all that! As I swept the sanctuary, I thought back to two summers ago when I went on a trip called Operation Barnabas. I missed the days of serving with my team, but from that summer I learned what it meant to be a true servant. Our hearts should be humble and things shouldn't need to be asked of us. I've grown to enjoy cleaning and working to get tasks done fast and efficiently. I'm thankful for a healthy body and the God-given abilities that allow me to do pretty much anything....except lifting pews.

Praise God for an awesome fundraiser, an okay Josh, and the abilities we have to serve!

College Crazies

The days until college continue to wind down. The excitement of graduating high school has begun to wear off, and I'm finalizing all the details of my future at the University of Akron. Loans have been filed for, dorm supplies are being purchased, and I'm feeling anxious to move out. It seems as though ever since I was a little girl I have wanted nothing more than to move out. I'm not the typical Christian girl with a perfect Christian family. In fact, my family is far from perfect. I've never really felt like I fit in. You have my dad. An athletic, sports-loving, phys ed teacher and coach. My two brothers. Both play baseball, and between the two of them they play golf, basketball, and football. My mom, who isn't exactly an athlete, but she is the mom and therefore we are basically her prize possessions. That leaves me. A blonde, school nerd, who loves Jesus, shopping, and making my friends laugh. I've tried volleyball, took years of pitching lessons (and was never once on a softball nor did I try out), and quite frankly, didn't fit in. However, growing up in this family has made me quite the competitor. I LOVE getting down and dirty, and playing tackle football or wrestling with my brothers until I've beat them both and leave as the winner. I tell the story only to give you a feel for where I'm coming from. I'm not one to complain and I know that I could have it so much worse. I'm glad that I went through what I have. It's made me independent and willing to be my own person.

I think a lot of times people assume that Christians have it made. I mean, why else would they be so happy and always smiling? Truth is, it's only because of Jesus Christ. Or maybe, we're pretending. That's right, I said it....some Christians have crappy lives, or they're simply faking the smile.

If I'm honest, I will tell you that I've had days where I've wanted to give up. I can't count the number of times where I thought life was too hard and I was angry with God. Truth be told, I would be so angry or upset that I felt like suicide was the answer. When I was over the idea of suicide, I toyed with thoughts of being a party animal. I wanted to completely rebel, forcing God to grab a hold of me and break me. I thought that if God broke me and He was all I had, then maybe, just maybe God would change my life and I would be a better Christian.

Here I am today. Suicide is never the answer, and neither is rebeling. The more I pursue a relationship with my heavenly Father, the more I feel His presence. When I'm not in the word for weeks, or even months I don't feel like i'm missing anything. I don't have a desire to read my Bible or even pray. But when I'm pursuing Christ and reading my Bible every day, I am in God's will. I can hear his subtle whispers, and I know when I miss a day of being in the word. I think sometimes as Christians, we get so busy or life is going great that we tend to forget about God. We give Him our scraps, or sometimes we don't even do that. And then the second life comes tumbling down, we run for Him. Often times blaming Him for life's struggles. I mean, this is the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE and we're treating Him like He's just another person. I guess I say all of this because I want other believers to be pursuing God. I know that if we're all in the word and encouraging each other, God could use us in incredible ways. But if we're simply living life and giving God the scraps, then who are we to call ourselves Christians?

This summer, I'm pursuing God. College is seeming stressful, finances are tight, and lots of things seem to be crashing right in front of my eyes. I'm questioning my decisions and wondering how I'll ever make it through. But God has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. He doesn't want me to worry about tomorrow. I know that  no matter what, God will use me and He'll make me stronger by bringing me through trials. I want to encourage any of you reading this, not to let life bring you down. Don't get to a point where you're considering suicide or completely rebeling. Neither will get you anywhere. Give your struggles and your worries to God. Get a discipler that can hold you accountable. But most of all, trust Him.